I recently began the arduous process of querying agents with the hope of finding someone to represent my recently completed novel. Although I am only three query letters into the process, I must admit, it is discouraging. My most recent rejection read, "It sounds interesting but your novel isn't right for my list right now." What does that even mean? Will it ever be right for her list? Or is she trying to let me down easy?
I confess that for as long as I remember I've struggled with a deep fear of rejection. Any time I’ve experienced it, I want to crawl under the covers and cry. And now, here I am willfully standing right in the line of fire. I'm a resilient person but who likes hearing a "no" especially when it's connected to a passion project?
My dear husband keeps encouraging me to be patient and persistent. And while his supportive words are much needed, it’s always helpful to receive encouragement from my Father. In my time with the Lord last night, I felt prompted to turn to Psalm 34. As my eyes searched the passage, verse 5 leapt off the page. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”
Now, I know this verse is no promise or guarantee of finding an agent or procuring a publishing contract. And while those things would be a dream come true, they are futile if it’s not what God intends for me.
Rather, this verse challenges me to daily surrender my way, my will, and my wants to Him. He is good and I can trust that. I’m also reassured in remembering that the Lord is always active in the lives of His children. We serve a God who actively, from the foundation of the world, prepared a remedy so we may draw near to Him (Ephesians 1:4). Sometimes His activity in our lives is pleasant. Other times it’s disciplinary, which I’d rather avoid. And while at times I attempt to push forward with my plans instead of His, He patiently draws me back to a place of rest and trust in Him.
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