Catching My Breath
Updated: Jan 2
Over the past 14 months, I've lived in 5 states and 6 different houses - whew! This was never the intention, but rather the way events played out. Two of the homes were transitional living, but still... In addition to all of that craziness and chaos, I finished writing a novel, which I hope to have traditionally published.
So where to begin? My mind is swirling with thoughts as I take a few minutes during lunch time to write. Honestly, the last week and a half have been discouraging. I received wonderful feedback and encouragement on my novel from an editor and ghostwriter. But then I had another well-known editor tell me "it has potential" but that I should buy her book and take a course in writing to sharpen my skills - ouch! At this moment, I am weary. I am distraught. I acknowledge that my novel isn't going to be for everyone, but I really thought, maybe more like wishful thinking, that this second editor would find it interesting and amusing. She ripped it apart starting with the title - yikes!
When I shared the second editor's critique with my husband, he noted that she told me to buy her book and to attend her writing seminars. In his line of thinking, she is trying to get more money out of me. I suppose he's right. He usually is, but please don't tell him ;)
Regardless of the motivation behind her cut-throat criticisms, I'm struggling to move forward. Actually, I'm paralyzed from letting anyone else even read the manuscript. Why, I wonder, am I like this? I received high praise from a person who's a successful published author, yet instead of focusing on that, I lock and load on the negative.
In my heart, I believe the Lord called me to write the book. And I also know that sometimes He calls us to do something out of obedience rather than an intended outcome. But I truly think this may be different. I really do want to move forward, I'm just tired. And surrounded by boxes (I moved in my new house three days ago).
Father, please give me the grace and tenacity to continue to move forward into the purpose and plan You have for my life. While I would love for this book to be published, or rather for me to have an opportunity to have a career as an author, I don't want it to be about me. I truly don't. Please give me the strength to take the next few steps on the journey to finding an agent. I need Your wisdom and favor. And Lord, I pray that You will use my little story to inspire and encourage women to come to know You as their Savior and Redeemer. I love you, Jesus. Amen.