So, this past couple of weeks has proved challenging once again. I'm waiting for word from my editor to let me know her thoughts on my book. In my mind, I picture her reading it, and thinking, "How am I going to tell Dawn this manuscript stinks?" Yet, why can't I believe instead that she is thinking, "How can I tell Dawn she's got a best seller on her hands?"
Why do I always go to the worst case scenario? My husband, God bless him, tries to tell me, "If the editor had questions or concerns, she'd let you know." Or he'll say, "No news is good news." But why can't I seem to accept that? Why do I worry and ponder and wonder and hypothesize a million scenarios without one of them being positive? I'm generally an upbeat person. I also believe that I am following the Lord on this journey, so why do I doubt? I suppose it's linked to the fact that many things in my life have resulted major disappointments. Plans, that I thought would be wonderful, have turned out to be different than I could've ever imagined. A common sentiment expressed in blogs and social posts lines up with the "follow your dreams" narrative. And while I'm engaged in doing so, why do I struggle? What is it that holds me back? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Maybe a little of both. For now, I'll continue to keep my laptop in front of me and my trusty companion and writing partner in my lap. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
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